Threesypeasy Gets Festive (same shit different season)

So there’s only 15 sleeps till Santa comes and everyone in the Threesypeasy house is getting rather excited about the big mans arrival. I love Christmas and really hope that it will be just as special for my kids as it was for me when I as younger. I am really excited about all the things that Christmas brings, after all Tis the season to be jolly. Its a time for putting the decorations up whilst Now that’s what I call Christmas compilation album plays in the background, family trips to see Santa, Christmas crafts and Baking mince pies, Christmas shopping, Nativity play preparations and moving excitedly through the advent calendar towards the big day.

Sounds great, but Tis also the season to be deluded. The kids will still be kids as of 1st December as you enter another season of feeling under pressure to do everything and do  it perfectly.

In reality

Tis the season..

For making tonnes of lists and lists of lists. The most important being the Christmas present list which is made up of all forms of plastic crap requested by the kids. They’re not quite at the stage of writing their lists so they are communicating their Christmas wishes by pointing at the telly and shouting “MUM I REEEEEALLY WANT THAT”. If ever there was a time to limit TV time it would have to be during the run up to Christmas. There’s also the other lists, the ‘To-do’ lists relating to all the other Christmas events; book a visit to Santa, don’t forget to sell the stack of raffle tickets, buy raffle tickets, donate raffle prizes, clear out old plastic crap to make way for new plastic crap, write Christmas cards, make nativity costumes, book Christmas Asda delivery (Christmas booze and random Christmas nibbles that apparently we need even though we won’t be at home), make more lists of stuff to do, get Christmas haircuts, buy Christmas ham, make mince pies, get kids to make Christmas cards, book a slot to have a meltdown and generally prepare for the end of the world, because it will happen – the shops will close for one day!

Tis the season…

To spend, spend and spend some more. There’s the Christmas present budget and then there’s the small loan that is required for all the other festive incidentals;  trips to see Santa which are more than just Santa on a wooden chair at the back of the local toy shop like in my day. Santa has his own small out building/grotto with dancing Polar Bears and fake snow, sitting next to his log fire and it comes at a price. There’s the raffle prizes to be bought then there’s the tickets you need to buy to have a chance of winning back the prize that you donated. School trips, nativity costumes and the list goes on.

Tis the season…

To panic buy, because the email bullying from retailers telling you that the sale ends in 24 hours or that it’s your last chance to buy gets too much. SCREW YOU BLACK FRIDAY or week whatever you call yourself.

Tis the season…

For decorating the house and putting the Christmas Tree up. This takes about seven days to complete because the kids are helping and just the same as all the other things you try and do with the kids IT TAKES A GAZILLION TIMES LONGER. Once they are up you have, at most, 24 hours to enjoy them until the toddler pulls them all down. It’s a fact that for every 3 baubles placed on tree, 2 are removed by the toddler to be either crushed, chewed or thrown at the dog.

Tis the season…

To get Santa in on the household discipline and advise all children that Santa is watching EVERYTHING and any incidents of bad behaviour will mean that there will be no presents!  The house is full of consequences threats like “If you don’t get to the table for your dinner I’m ringing Santa”. Or bribes like, “Please go to bed nicely tonight or the Elves won’t leave you a chocolate in your advent calendar”. Every interaction with the kids starts with “Santa will not like that… Santa is watching… Do you want me to ring Santa…?” “The Elves have just seen you hit your sister in the head with the Fire Engine so they will not be leaving you a chocolate tonight”.

Tis the season …

For the Pre -school nativity play. Cobbling together nativity costumes because there’s nothing wrong with homemade and buggered if I am spending all that money on two shop bought costumes. Seriously though is it just me or when did it become rubbish to make your own and why does it now seem expected to fork out for perfect non-bed-sheet type costumes? The Angel is more than happy with a silver net tutu, tin foil wings and a tinsel wand but the Donkey (of the EBAY) does not want to be a Donkey. He wants to be Buzz light year. FFS.

Tis the season…

For getting excited about Santa’s arrival and running into our room every morning asking if he’s been. Me: “No there’s still lots of sleeps, go back to bed”. Eldest: “How many sleeps” *holds up 3 fingers*. Me: “No more than that”. Eldest: “But why mum, how many sleeps mum”. Me: “Just cos and lots of sleeps, now bugger off”.

Tis the season…

For clearing up glue and glitter from around the house and from the toddlers mouth, post Christmas craft session. The Christmas cards didn’t exactly turn out as planned, knob off Nickelodeon with your looks-so-easy Crafty Christmas bollocks.

Tis the season…

For you and your other half to get on each others nerves a little bit more with the seasonal annoying habbits like leaving chocolate wrappers in the Roses tin and leaving Christmas shopping to the final moments. I however have no annoying Christmas habbits – who doesn’t like watching miracle on 34th Street and sleepless in seattle over and over again.

Tis just the same shit different season.

I know I may sound like a scrooge and I really do love christmas but yet again I feel the pressure to have everything perfect which makes me a little sad. Because every minute I spend stressing over stupid irrelevant details is a minute I am dragged away from the kids and less time spent making memories.

So if you come round our house at Christmas the tree will be half naked, the toddler will be chewing a baubel, a dog will be running around with a Christmas cracker in his mouth, there will be glitter all over the floor, slade blasting from the Ipad, the older two fighting over who will switch on the of the eighties multi-coloured window lights and me swigging from a bottle of Port moaning that somebody has eaten all the good chocolates. Oh and that smell wafting through the house is the Christmasy smell of pizza and chips.

The same chaos, just Christmas chaos and bloody good fun.